I'm not entirely sure how to begin this.
No. Still not sure. Hmmm.
It's just that now seems the right moment, but where are my words? I've been cramming my head with unfamiliar words since September, and now I am lost for them.
I guess I could say that on Monday this week I was a complete idiot and ended up getting hit by a car. It was not serious, and I have never met anyone so kind as the lady who hit me, but I am now laid up with a fracture in the center of my foot. So is it completely crazy to say that right now:
I feel so damn lucky.
?
Is that crazy? And I don't just mean 'lucky she was not driving fast' and 'lucky I was wearing Doc Martins, my foot would have been shredded...'
Now I'll go off on a tangent (but stay with me, it's relevant!) I've just finished watching 'Eat, Pray, Love' starring Julia Roberts. I saw this film in the cinema with a good friend, and we both felt inspired by it. However, watching it now, I feel a whole new level of awareness and inspiration I wasn't expecting.
The title of the this post is called 'The Physics of the Quest', and without spoiling the end for those who might want to see it, it goes along the lines of:
* Leave all that is familiar and comfortable behind you
*Treat everything as a clue
*Accept that everything that happens to you, and everyone you meet, will teach you something
*Face, and ultimately forgive, some unflattering things about yourself
So. To link the two together...
A couple of days ago I was ready to pack in Erasmus. I mean truly ready to give up and go home. I was this close to asking my coordinators my options. I felt like I had just started to get the hang of how it works here, to finally feel comfortable and accepting of a situation I wasn't prepared for. Then I got hit by a car. (Which hurts, even if it is not fast!) So, I really felt like the universe was trying to take me down a peg; 'who are you to think you can do this?'
Who was I to argue with the universe? Time to go home!
Fortunately, I can't exactly get very far at the moment. I don't mean just to England (the flight next week will be eventful...) I live up two flights of stairs, three, if you count the entrance steps. And of course we do not have a lift! There is no way I'll be attempting those stairs on my own anytime soon, I'm horrendous on crutches! As a result of my limited mobility, I have a lot of time to do not a lot but think. So this broken foot, while not exactly a gift (gee, can't return this to where it was purchased!) is certainly a blessing in disguise.
It is making me appreciate the people here in my life so much more than I already did. It is making me appreciate the people in my life back in England, for their long distance support and patience. On a more practical level, boy do I appreciate my working limbs! I also feel thankful all over again for the exciting opportunities Erasmus has presented; I'm learning German for Pete's sake! It's frustrating to have to sit here and wait for my foot to heal - I would rather be attacking this year head on, full on, immediately. I have so much to do!
Being hit by a car is a lesson but I'm still not sure what the subject is.
It's all a part of the Quest.
-Rae
