On 'bravery'

When I tell someone about my year abroad I get one of two reactions. Confusion, as discussed in the post before, and: 'you are studying abroad? That is so brave!'

Is it? Is it 'brave'? My usual reaction is to smile and deny all associations with the word. I declare my terror, almost defiantly. But today, after being called brave again for dealing with the homelessness issue (now resolved for the first three weeks of my stay...) I didn't deny it. It suddenly hit me; yes! Yes, I bloody am brave! 

All the great heroes of films and novels profess that bravery is not being unafraid, but being afraid and still facing up to your fears. Harry Potter comes to mind, as do all the lessons I ever took away from Narnia, Lord of the Rings and - of course - Bloomability. All children's literature (let's face it, it's the best kind) teaches us to stand up to the shadows under the bed, to face the bogey man and shout 'BOO!' The subtler kind of novel, such as Neil Gaiman's 'Coraline', teaches us that we must take responsibility for our actions, and that fear - although paralyzing - must not stop us from attaining what we want (in little Coraline's case, she faced the Other Mother - the most sinister figure e-v-e-r - to save her parents.)

In more recent news, the opening ceremony for the Paralympics was held yesterday; if I were to settle upon anyone as the embodiment of bravery, I would say it would be the Paralympians. I teared up as I watched a man with no legs dance on his hands. How does a person do that? Not just dance on their hands, but to decide 'I have no legs, I will still dance...'? That is brave.

And in news much closer to home, my friend G of G(OT) THE TRAVEL BUG lived in Uganda for several months providing OT expertise for disabled orphans. Now she is running a sponsored half marathon to help raise medical funds for Ekisa. Facing Africa? Brave. Facing the problems of Africa? Unthinkable. Facing half a marathon? Urgh...

The brave kids of Ekisa, Uganda. Aren't they cute?!

Bravery. Every day, someone is facing up to something they don't want to face. Going in to a shitty job so you can keep the roof over your head? You are brave. Having Sunday dinner at the Mother-in Law's? Well, you are downright valiant! What I am trying to say, amidst all this rambling (it is  past midnight in fairness... ) is that bravery is not that rare. The human condition is by default, 'brave'. So next time someone says: 'You are studying abroad? That is so brave...' I'll accept the compliment.

No point in denying the human condition.

-Rae

Picture Credit: G's Facebook group for Ekisa medical funds - you should totally check out her blog too! 

'Your life choice is ironic'

Technically, no one has said those exact words to me, but I can tell they are thinking it. You can see it in people's faces -'You are going to Germany? To study English? What?' It's funny really; out of all the things I thought about when making this decision, what I was actually going to study whilst I was over there didn't cross my mind. 

And now that I am actually thinking about it, I still don't think it's odd. It will be kinda awesome to see how my native literature will be discussed in a different culture. Things we take for granted here may be more heavily scrutinized. What I am excited for (academically) is the chance to broaden my thinking and to embrace new ideas. I'm also excited for a different way of doing things; after years and years in the British educational system, it will be a breath of fresh air indeed to experience German Higher Education. 

For example, on the Erstsemester Universität Leipzig 2012 Facebook page, it's really interesting (read: confusing) to read about people's application process. Aside from the fact that it is in another language, it really is another language - a's, b's and c's? Forget it, there is some heavy number/point system going on that makes me feel very grateful for the old A-levels... But at the same time, I can't wait to find out what it all means.

Also, another reason for putting myself through this is for the future benefits. By this, I mean e-m-p-l-o-y-a-b-i-l-i-t-y. An Erasmus year abroad translates into communication skills, adaptability, independence and initiative, as well as problem solving and people skills. Sure, I get all these things from my Bachelor's degree, but adding a bit of shine to it with practical application might be what get's me a job. Hopefully.

Ah! I'm going dizzy. Must be all the nerdy excitement going on...

-Rae

More on being potentially homeless...

Call me obsessive, but this issue is seriously playing on my mind. I did as I told myself, and emailed some people about their spare rooms, and initially it was promising; I got replies the very next day! But after I followed those up with answers to their own inquiries, nothing. 'Null' if you will...

I'm frightened. What a thing to publish on the Internet, but this is meant to be a truthful account, so I would be a big fat liar if I said I was unconcerned. I'm one of the most anxiety-ridden people I know, and this whole escapade (whilst dream-fulfilling and exciting) has reduced me to a wreck. Well, it has on a fair few occasions at least. The lack of future home is keeping me awake at night. The sudden drop in interest has me developing a small-ish complex; no one will want to live with me!

Another stress is booking my hostel. Oh man, so much money! Three weeks is gonna cost me, but I need that language course! That, and most new leases don't start til the beginning of October. If only there was one free room in all of Leipzig. They are all booked! Aahhhhhhhhh!

I feel as dizzy as when I went up a mountain in a Tardis

Oh boy, so full of negativity today. To attempt to remedy this, imagine a field full of cars. Imagine a cold, typically rubbish Bank Holiday August. Imagine a bedraggled me, flogging clothes and bags and by-gone teenage bric-a-brac. I earned a little bit of cash today, and hopefully I can change it into euros or something. Every little helps! (Why is this positive? I don't really know, but it's what I did with my cousin and aunt today, and I'm still recovering!) 

-Rae

Ich lerne Deutsch...

I've been 'learning' German since October 2011. I say 'learning',  in italics, as this implies the opposite, that I in fact haven't been learning German. But enough about my witty formatting.

The lessons were hosted by my uni, and were pretty good for the bargainous price I paid. Sadly, due to a number of reasons, I didn't apply myself as much as I perhaps should have. (No hidden meaning in that italic formatting. Just so you know.) In fact, I didn't even attend all of them (and boy am I regretting those decisions right now!)

German is meant to be easy to grasp, but puh-lease, I beg to differ! Maybe it is just me? Maybe I have the opposite to a natural talent for languages, whatever that may be. No matter how I dress it up, I just can't seem to grasp German, which could be a bit of an issue...

Or hilf mir! (or Hilfe!) In Deutsch

For example, I constantly mix up the words for four (vier) and five (fünf); obviously because fünf sounds closer to four than five, it must mean four. Obviously.

Another, less idiotic, example is my confusion over how to ask where somebody is from, and where somebody lives. The confusion is not in the formal and informal, but in the actual question words:

Woher kommen Sie? Is 'where do you come from?' Wo wohnen Sie? Is Where do you live? Seems simple enough until I'm practicing dialogues (with myself) and can't seem to separate the two! And quite frankly, the consequences of mixing these two babies could be awkward; imagine intending to ask where someone lives, so you can visit them, only to be informed that they live in Sweden. Obviously I would realise my mistake, but honestly, can you imagine?!

So it's a relief to know that on my first Monday (Montag) in Germany, I will be packing off to an intensive language course. Whoo! I don't hold out much hope for leaving my year abroad fluent, but I'm hoping that with some application and complete immersion I'll be able to get by. And when I return to my home university, I'll definitely be signing up for more lessons, just to keep it fresh.

PS: I totally cheated with the German in this post. Google Translate will become my new best friend...

-Rae

♫ Time goes by so slowly...♪

Well, Gwen Stefani, you got it so hideously wrong. Time does not go by 'so slowly'. No. In fact, time is steam rolling by, and I am desperately trying to hold it back. Why is it going so fast? In 20 days time I'll be sat in a hostel room (which I still haven't booked) wondering what hit me. How is it only 20 days away?! 

I'm panicking. Sure, I am excited, I'm 'living the dream'! But right now I have a tension headache the size of Mars and a heart that won't quite stop palpitating. Oh and my hands and feet are tingling. Yuck.

Of course, if time is rushing by so quickly now, I dread to think how it will behave when I get settled in. It will probably go by faster, and before I know it, my Erasmus year will be over and I will be facing the horrors of my final year. And the big G. (That's graduation...) Maybe I am getting ahead of myself, but this is what I do; p-a-n-i-c. I'm so very good at it!

Never mind, a hot cup of tea should sort me out. A hot cup of tea laced with whiskey, that is...

-Rae

Practicality matters. (Or practical matters. Or it practically matters.)

As it currently stands, when I touch down in Leipzig in September, I will be homeless. Lovely. 

Of course I will be stopping in a hostel, just until I sort a place out to live. How easy does that sound? 'Until I sort a place out to live.' Ha. The prospect of searching online, reaching out to established students who are looking for housemates and organising house viewings is not one I relish. In fact, I'm bloody terrified.

For those of you who aren't aware, the German academic cycle is different to ours; from what I've been told, and from what I have gathered, the length of your degree varies according to the subject of your degree, and that someone could live in a WG (Wohngemeinschaft, or 'shared flat') for three semesters or one. As an Erasmus student I will be needing a place for the full academic year. 

There seems to be plenty of rooms on offer (from what I can see online at least) but still, I feel daunted at finding my new home under such fraught conditions. What if I have a terrible lapse in judgement and end up in a place I don't feel comfortable in, or, because I lack local knowledge, what if I end up in the Red Light district or local drug hotspot?! Even worse, what if I can't find a room at all, and have nowhere to go? Oh the agony! 

Still, every year thousands of Erasmus students all over Europe manage to find a place to live. This is a comfort. I'm sensible and organised enough, which means I should be o.k. Speaking of organised, I had better start emailing prospective flatmates... I don't want to land and not have any viewings booked.

(House prices in Leipzig are a pleasant surprise! It looks like I could pay less rent than the last academic year and get a nicer place to live in. Bonus!)

PS: The best place to look for a WG in Germany is this site. It's in German, but if you open it in Google Chrome it should be automatically translated into English.

-Rae

Dear younger, more adventorous me...

I just wanted to tell you that in 8 years time you will be about to live your dream. You will be studying abroad, and - what is even better - it will hardly cost you anything! You see, there is a cool European program called Erasmus that has a fund set aside for dreamers like you, so that you can go on adventures and learn a new language. And hopefully make some new friends. Hopefully. I know you aren't the most popular of kids, but this will be your chance to change that! 

I just wanted you to know that even though life is a little sucky in that awful place they call a school it will get much better. There will be people you absolutely adore, and they will like you back! These people are supportive and kind, and all for you and your mad dreams. There are also great people who you haven't met yet; this world is big, much bigger than the four corners of the school yard, so lucky you will have a shot at seeing some of it! 

And finally, I just wanted to let you know that all the rubbish that is occurring at the time of you reading this - yes, a-l-l of it! - will fade away into nothing. Those worries that seem so huge right now will be things to giggle about. (The spots won't go away, but you stop caring!) So keep on struggling little me, because everything you have done, and everything you will do, will bring you to this evening a couple of weeks from departure, and you will feel conflicted, because life isn't as easy as it is in that novel. But you will feel blessed because you know that you have stayed true to yourself, and that you will achieve something. That you have already achieved something. You will know that you are about to live your dreams, and not many people can say that.

Lots of love,

Older me.

xx 

What is Erasmus?

Erasmus is a European wide scheme that enables students and teachers to travel and study or work in a different institute in Europe. 

Erasmus was also a philosopher of some kind, but as I am a terrible student I haven't researched into what he did or why the scheme was named after him. But never mind that.

Erasmus is the reason I can live my teen-hood dream of studying abroad. 

From September I'll be leaving everything and everyone behind to undergo the biggest adventure of my life so far. I felt that first year of university was h-u-g-e, but this is an entirely different level! 

So. I'm off to Leipzig, East Germany to study English (a concept a lot of people find hilarious, but I just can't see the funny side!) 

Scary? Exciting? A Bloomability? All of the above. With added... psssh. (That is what my brain has turned into. Psssh.)

Hopefully this blog will be the place where I record some of the antics and shenanigans that occur over the next nine months. Ha. I've started a blog before, and that didn't go so well. But never mind - this is my alternative to writing a diary. As much as I fancy the idea of stormy evenings (why stormy?) sat at a desk dipping my quill into deep indigo ink, scrawling the days events down in my sloppy script, I know that I am far too lazy for that. Hell, I'm nearly too lazy to blog, but never mind that...

So if you read this and enjoy it, then I am glad! If you read this and feel inspired to go on your own adventure, I would be thrilled! I'll try to be funny (ish), but no guarantees!

- Rae